Comecei a escrever no momento em que percebi que só pensar não mais me satisfazia.

Precisava transbordar todo aquele pensamento que só ao meu universo de idéias pertencia.

Hoje, escrevo por pura necessidade, por irresistível vício e por agradável teimosia.

Claudia Pinelli Rêgo Fernandes ®

quarta-feira, agosto 03, 2005

Loneliness cries deep from my soul..

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Silently I rest in the tall
green grass and look steadily upwards.
Birds sing ceaselessly around me,
and the blue of the sky surrounds me strangely.

Out here, life is at its essence,
and watches the world with innocent eyes;
far from grime, far from rushing people
it seems that I have found a tiny peace.

On the blue backdrop of the unknown
water droplets trace their paths;
on the sky, mortals hang on metal -
but who is to know how long either will last?

The lovely white clouds glide
across the sky and into my dreams.
I feel as though I had died some time ago:
now I'll wander with the clouds through eternal space.

Peter Hammill

Solidão não significa necessariamente isolamento das pessoas, falta de convívio social, etc...

Solidão é algo muito mais complexo...

Existem épocas em que, por mais que esteja cercado por pessoas(e muitas dessas te amam realmente), você se sente só, como se não houvesse ninguém ali para te ouvir, para sentir o que você está passando e tentar te ajudar...

E aí está a complexidade da coisa...

Porque, na verdade, elas até que poderiam ouvir, sentir seus problemas e quem sabe, até ajudar você... Porém o problema não está nelas(pessoas), e sim em você.. Você não está aberto a esse tipo de troca... Por um desajuste seu...

E então se instala essa sensação de estar só no mundo.. Uma sensação de solidão fria e que incomoda, mas que é real e está dentro de você.

Nesses dias, você só consegue se satisfazer, isto é, enganar esse sentimento, bebendo num bar e conversando com pessoas, muitas vezes, desconhecidas.

A bebida traz o torpor que alivia a alma.

As conversas sobre assuntos loucos, sobrenaturais, metafísicos ou filosóficos, uma agradável impressão de que todos ali falam sua língua ou que vieram do mesmo planeta.


Estou sem ânimo para escrever mais, por isso faço das palavras do Hammill, as minhas...


Música: Solitude do Peter Hammill.

7 comentários:

Sergio disse...

Assim como você, estou sem ânimo para escrever...
Solitude,cinza, Saturno, frio,distância,desânimo,incompreensão, injustiça,rancor,9 de espadas, pensamentos que não podem ser expressados por falta de palavras adequadas.
Bela foto...belo texto. Grande Hammill, grande pessoa que postou.

Pax et Lux.

Sergio disse...

Ain't found a way to kill me yet
Eyes burn with stinging sweat
Seems every path leads me to nowhere
Wife and kids household pet
Army green was no safe bet
The bullets scream to me from somewhere

Yeah, they come to snuff the rooster
Yeah, here come the rooster
You know he ain't gonna die

Yeah, they come to snuff the rooster
Yeah, here come the rooster yeah
You know he ain't gonna die

Walkin' tall machine gun man
They spit on me in my home land
Gloria sent me pictures of my boy
Got my pills 'gainst mosquito death
My buddy's breathin' his dyin' breath
Oh god please won't you help me make it through

Here they come to snuff the rooster
Yeah, here come the rooster yeah
You know he ain't gonna die
No, you know he ain't gonna die

"Rooster" -Alice in Chains-

Sergio disse...

Betrayed - Peter Hammill

When I began I was full of altruistic dreams,
believed in princes and princesses, kings and queens -
now I find they're all human inside,
all bitterness and pride,
so why shouldn't I be like that too?
It seems that I've forgotten all I tried so hard to learn;
it seems there's not an ounce of love or trust
anywhere in the world.

Friends - they're all harbouring knives
to embed in your back out of revenge, or spite,
or indifference, or lack of other things to do -
in the end just who's going to be a friend for you
when they kick you in the guts just as your hand holds out the pearl?
It seems that there is nothing left but
hatred and lust in the world.

I don't give a damn anymore - I've only wound up betrayed.
It's all been absolutely worthless -
all the efforts I've made to be gentle and kind
are repaid with contempt,
degraded by sympathy and worthless kindness
and love that isn't meant.
I'm through with joy and company, I've done with pretty words,
betrayed - there's no hiding-place
anywhere in the world.
I've nothing left to fight for except making my passion heard -
I don't believe in anything
anywhere in the world.

Sergio disse...

Alice (letting go)
Peter Hammill

Minha preferida do disco...

When you told me that you loved me
I had no reason to doubt it
so I went about my life in such a selfish way
and never really thought about it.
Oh do I have to let go?
Oh I had my chance and I've blown it,
'cause I loved you so much all these years
and somewhere in myself, between my pride and fear
just couldn't find a way to show it.

I know it doesn't give you any joy
to give me such pain
but you're in love with him now, my old friend -
I know all about that, there's no need to explain
but why do I have to say goodbye
when I love you still, and can only feel that I'm dying?
Still, every word I say just seems to come out wrong
and none of them deny the fact that you are gone
and that I'm left here, crying.

What's the good of songs anyway?
They're just exercises in solitude.
I should have been ready for today -
I always prayed you wouldn't go,
but I suppose I always knew you would.

I suppose you say to him now
"I know that some day you'll leave me"
just like you did to me, and I'd deny it,
but you wouldn't believe me.
Ooh do I have to let go of you
ooh I don't think that I can do it -
you're always going to be the guardian of my soul,
and I'll always have a part of you to call my own,
how stupid that I never proved it.

Oh I know I'll never let go
oh because I don't want to be just your friend.
We spent seven years together in our own way,
I can't believe the story ends like this today....

Wherever you are do you really think so, Alice?

Anônimo disse...

Meu amor...
Não pense que eu me esqueci de vc por eu ter retirado todas as referências. É impossível tirar suas marcas do meu coração e da minha alma, apesar de todas as turbulências... E isso vai me acompanhar por essa e por tantas outras vidas q eu viver... O meu porto seguro não se abala facilmente. Ele tá aqui pra te abrigar, e sei o quanto vc precisa dele agora. Mesmo pessimista, mesmo tentando de todas as formas me afastar de vc, não posso te abandonar justamente agora nesse momento tão difícil da sua vida... Não fique triste comigo por ter retirado as referências, mas eu estaria mentindo se estivesse com um "namorando" no meu perfil. Mas vc sabe muito bem o quanto te amo e o quanto quero ficar com você. Já te dei provas suficientes. Mas saiba, que amo você, mais do que ontem, menos do que amanhã...
Bjuxxx no seu coração e espero que ele fique logo em paz novamente...

Elle disse...

Sempre fotos lindas e textos maravilhosos. Seu blog é realmente demais! Beijos da sobrinha q te ama muito.

Elle disse...

Estou aqui para o q precisar, viu? Se cuida. Um beijo no seu coração!

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My kind of Spirit...

You are the elusive Night Spirit.
Your season is Winter, when the stars are bright and frost crystallizes the fallen leaves.
You are introspective, deep-thinking, and mysterious.
Everyone is intrigued and a little intimidated by you because you have an aura of otherworldliness.
You work in extremes, sometime happy, other times sad, but always creative and philosophical.
You are more concerned with the unseen, mystical, and metaphysical than the real world.
Night Spirits have a tendency to get lost in themselves and must be careful not to forget reality, but their imagination is limitless.